TV
SIDEKICKS FROM THE '90s
(AND WHERE THEY ARE NOW)
Edited version published: Frankie #27 (Jan/Feb 2009)
STEVE
URKEL
Family Matters (1989—1998)
Played by: Jaleel White.
Sidekick
to: The long-suffering Winslow family, who lived next door.
Memorable
traits: Smashing stereotypes about black men being sexually virile and
attractive. Instead, Urkel—with his hitched-up pants, cardigans,
duck-like posture and annoying voice—was presented as repellent
to all sectors of the community.
Catchphrase: Any slapstick catastrophe
brought on by Urkel’s clumsiness was followed by a sheepish and
nasal “Did I do that?” For a while, he also had an ‘Urkel
Dance’, which included his featured his trademark, donkey-like
snort laughter.
Where he is now: Jaleel White was actually quite the
ladies’ man, as demonstrated by Urkel’s smooth alter-ego
Stefan Urquelle. In 2006, a hoax claimed White had killed himself, and
left behind a suicide note with the phrase “Did I Do That?” However,
a much alive Jaleel finished a film and television degree, and had small
roles in Dreamgirls and Boston Legal.
SIX LEMEURE
Blossom (1991—1995)
Played by: Jenna von Oÿ.
Sidekick to: Blossom Russo (Mayim Bialik),
an American teenager abandoned by her mother, with a penchant for floral
hats and awkward dancing.
Memorable traits: Reciting dialogue at breakneck
speed. For example, Six arguing with her mother: “It’s-like-when-you-go-to-school-and-everybody-at-school-is-wearing-the-clothes-you-want-and-I-don’t-have-that-kind-of-money-and-you-don’t-have-that-type-of-money-and-I’m-not-blaming-this-on-the-divorce-but-we-just-don’t-have-that-kind-of-money.”
Catchphrase: Six often wise-cracked that she was named after the number of beers it
took her father to conceive her. Classy stuff.
Where she is now: According
to her website, von Oÿ’s career has been in “high gear” ever
since a jell-o commercial with Bill Cosby, at the age of … six!
The “high gear” speed of her life is clearly demonstrated
by von Oÿ’s current commitments, which includes a burgeoning
country music career, alongside providing voices for the direct-to-video
Dr. Dolittle 3.
SAMUEL ‘SCREECH’ POWERS
Saved by the Bell (1989—1993)
Played by: Dustin Diamond.
Sidekick to: Zack Morris
(Mark Paul-Gossaler), the preppy campus heart-throb.
Memorable traits: Sporting an unkempt, white-boy afro, Screech was the school nerd with
a shrill, parrot-like squawk of a voice.
Catchphrase: A high-pitched “Eep!” would
usually follow a moment of panic and realisation that one of Screech’s
schemes was about to be exposed.
Where he is now: Diamond was the only
original cast member to appear on all incarnations of Saved By The Bell
(Saved by the Bell: The College Years; Saved by the Bell: The New Class).
His post-Bell ventures included selling autographed Screech t-shirts
online to pay off his mortgage, and a 2006 sex tape titled Screeched,
which featured sex acts involving poo. Current plans include a tell-all
book about fellow Bell castmates. UK newspaper The
Guardian recently
captioned a photo of Diamond with: “Has anyone seen my dignity?”
JAZZ
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (1990—1996)
Played by: Jeffrey A. Townes
(a.k.a. DJ Jazzy Jeff).
Sidekick to: William ‘Will’ Smith
(Will Smith), a.k.a. The Fresh Prince, a rough-and-tumble, smart-talking
teenager, sent to live with cashed-up relatives in a Bel Air mansion.
Memorable traits: Widely considered a bad influence, Jazz was constantly
being thrown out of the mansion by Will’s uncle Phil, after pranks
like DJ scratching his classical music vinyl. Jazz also had a penchant
for cheap cologne and fried chicken.
Catchphrase: “Pssh!” was
always uttered between Will and Jazz after performing a complicated handshake,
a sort of pre-cursor to the contemporary Obama-era fist-bump.
Where he
is now: Jazzy continues to perform with Will Smith occasionally, as recently
as a movie premiere this year. Think of the two in the same vein as Matt
Damon and Ben Affleck, except older, black, and one of them donates to
Scientology.
PAUL PFEIFFER
The Wonder Years (1988—1993)
Played
by: Josh Saviano.
Sidekick to: Kevin Arnold (Fred Savage), a wide-eyed,
gopher-faced boy, growing up in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s.
Memorable traits: Despite his excellent academic record, his cute Jewish
schnozz and wayfarer nerd glasses—later popularised by 21st century
hipsters—Paul was also prone to asthma and a host of allergies,
including “his own snot”, as Kevin Arnold once claimed.
Catchphrase: None.
Where he is
now: Saviano is not, as widely circulated, performing
as Marilyn Manson. Despite debunking the urban legend himself, Saviano
says he’s chuffed people think of him capable of becoming a music
icon, rather than a dweeb. This is in light of the fact that Saviano
is, actually, a dweeb: he works as a lawyer in New York, after graduating
from political science at Yale.
KENNY PHILLIPS
Press Gang (1989—1993)
Played by: Lee Ross.
Sidekick to: Lynda Day (Julia Sawalha), the strong-minded
and emotionally-cold editor of youth newspaper The Junior Gazette.
Memorable
traits: Kenny’s friendly, diplomatic tone made him one of the few
people who could tolerate and see through Lynda’s steely, Thatcher-esque
posturing in the newsroom. Once dumped by a young Sadie Frost in Press
Gang for being “too understanding”, Kenny’s non-threatening
presence made him the crush of choice for female viewers who had yet
to start menstruating.
Catchphrase: Kenny often delivered soothing phrases
to quell Lynda’s tendency to snap, such as, “Lynda, remember:
it might be nice to be smart, but it’s smart to be nice.”
Where
he is now: Somewhat nauseatingly, Ross has been in constant demand as
a television actor in the UK since Press Gang. A steady, successful TV
career, free from drugs, sex scandals and homosexual liaisons? Boring
Kenny Phillips would be proud.
SNAKE & WHEELS
DeGrassi High (1989—1991)
Played by: Stefan Brogren (Snake) and Neil Hope (Wheels).
Sidekicks to: Handsome, fedora-sporting Joey Jeremiah (Pat Mastroianni).
Memorable
traits: Despite bearing the names of jail-dwelling homosexual rapists,
Snake and Wheels were actually decent boys in a rough teenage world of
abortion, bullying, AIDS and teen pregnancy. Both were subjected to a
lot of shit in high school. For instance, Snake found a classmate’s
dead body in the toilets. More spectacularly, Wheels’s adoptive
parents were killed, and he was nearly sodomised whilst hitch-hiking.
Breathtaking.
Catchphrases: None.
Where they are now: Brogren (Snake)
directed the one-off ‘Degrassi Of The Dead’ zombie-themed
web episode. However, Hope (Wheels) had more modest ambitions post-Degrassi,
and worked at a Pizza Pizza restaurant, before switching to a Money Mart
franchise. However, a recent online interview suggested Hope craved the
limelight again. The website added, “So keep your eyes peeled for
the guy that's filled with Hope … and ready to roll his Wheels back onto the scene!” (Emphasis added.)
Last
Updated :: 19 April 2009
All Content ©
Benjamin Law 2009